


i'm on fire

by inkk



Series: alphabet AU challenge [20]
Category: Bandom, Bring Me The Horizon, You Me At Six
Genre: Christmas, Dissociation, Echolalia, Established Relationship, Fluffy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Sensory Overload, Tourette's Syndrome, nonsexual aftercare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 11:24:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5538062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkk/pseuds/inkk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>T</b> is for <b>Tourette's.</b></p><p>(In which Oli dissociates at a Christmas party and Josh brings him home.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm on fire

**Author's Note:**

> ...i may or may not have skipped christmas dinner to write this?  
>  hahaha whoops  
> enjoy! :)  
> 

+

\--too loud, too loud, too many voices and people and then the smells, the _smells_ \--

"Babe? You alright?"

Oli's eyes are wide open, staring down at his lap without seeing anything. His knuckles are white where they're clutching onto the wooden seat of the chair like a life raft, head jerking sharply to the side every so often and Josh doesn't need a shake of the head to know he isn't.

 _Fuck_ , he helplessly curses, freezing. _I only left him on his own for two fucking minutes and--_

Josh cuts his train of though off with a deep breath and rubs his forehead, thinking quick. He starts looking around the room in search of a head of bleach-blonde hair - "Dan!" he calls out over whatever Christmas carol remix is currently playing, "Dan! Oli and I have to go, okay?"

Across the room from them, Dan frowns. "Wait, what? You're leaving? But it's not even ten o'clock yet!" He starts making his way through the people milling about. Josh frantically tries to communicate his desperation through eye contact, which only serves to make Dan frown more - "The fuck, mate?" he asks, "What's wrong?"

Josh shuts his eyes for a moment and takes a breath. He knows Oli doesn't know Dan that well yet and that he doesn't want anyone to know the details of his-- _thing_ , so instead he just discreetly rubs Oli's back and musters the brightest smile he can. "Nothing's wrong, just a little tired," he cheerfully offers. "It's been an absolute blast, though."

Dan is clearly about to scoff something in return when his eyes flick down to Oli and he abruptly shuts his mouth. Before he has the opportunity to say anything, Josh shuts him up a warning look intense enough that it could wither a small tree. "We'll see you around, yeah?" he asks between gritted teeth.

Dan's eyebrows just about raise themselves up into his hairline. "Sure, mate," he finally blinks, holding his hands up as if in surrender. "Catch you around. Merry Christmas!"

With that, he shoots the two of them another peculiar look and wades back into the recesses of the living room, leaving Josh to bend down to Oli's level and gently place a hand on his hunched shoulder - "Let's just get you the fuck out of here, okay?" he murmurs. "Fuck. 'M sorry for leaving you, babe."

Oli continues to stare unresponsively down at his knees and Josh straightens up to run a hand through his hair, mentally running through escape routes - _front door, no. Kitchen door, no. Garage door, no. Back door... maybe?_

Whatever he does, he has to do it fast; although Oli will never admit it, it's fairly plain to see that his _thing_ only gets worse in stressful situations - meaning that If Josh doesn't get him out soon, he'll only be even more scared the next time they get invited to something like this.

Josh mentally curses again. He bends back down and starts trying to gently pry Oli's cold fingers from the chair - "That's it, darling," Josh softly croons into his ear, uncurling each digit one by one, "I'm here. It's okay. We're going home now, alright? We're going home. You're safe. Everything's okay."

Absently, he starts singing a little tune as he slips an arm around Oli's waist, inconspicuously trying to pull him to his feet. Oli rises easily enough under his touch. His brown eyes are glazed over, looking at nothing as Josh tries to maneuver him through the crowd - "'Scuse me, sorry. 'Scuse me," he mutters, heading in the direction of the back door.

Oli continues to just drift along at his side, head jerking spasmodically to the left every few steps. "Almost there," Josh encourages him, guiding him in front. They finally reach the back doormat and Josh curses again because _of course their shoes are at the front door_.

By this point, Oli's pretty much shaking from overstimulation and Josh is getting steadily more freaked out that Oli's going to end up pulling a muscle in his neck (not that it would be the first time). Eventually he just mentally shakes himself and tells Oli "I'm going to have to carry you out to the car, okay, babe? I'll drop by to pick up our shoes tomorrow."

His voice sounds strained even to his own ears, and Josh forces himself to clear his throat and take a deep breath - _He needs you,_ he reminds himself. _He needs you right now, and you can't help him if you start freaking out too._

"Okay," Josh finally exhales, "Let's do this."

He opens the door as discreetly as possible so as to avoid the attention of partygoers, gently pulling Oli outside onto the step and closing it behind the two of them. Josh bends down enough to position one arm at the joint of Oli's knees and one around his waist, promptly scooping him up bridal style and starting down the walk.

Ordinarily, here's where he'd make some sort of joke or try to kiss Oli; right now, Josh is way too rattled and Oli is way too spaced-out to find any of it even the slightest amusing.

"Almost there," Josh huffs as he makes out the shape of the car at the end of the street, "Almost there."

Oli's head jerks again, bumping sharply against his collarbone; his lips are moving faintly now, busily shaping themselves into soundless words Josh can't discern. "Almost there," he fervently repeats. "We're almost there, babe, almost home."

His sock feet stumble the last few steps to the car and he violently tugs the handle open, bundling Oli into the passenger seat as gently as possible before clicking his seatbelt into place. He presses a kiss to Oli's forehead and then jogs around to the driver's side of the car with numb toes.

It's freezing, but Josh just blasts the heat and floors it as fast as he can to get back to their apartment. He reaches over at a stoplight and gently takes Oli's limp right hand, twining their fingers together over the centre console in what he hopes is a reassuring manner. "It'll be alright," he announces into the silence of the car. "We're almost home."

Oli doesn't look over. He merely continues to stare blankly out the window the whole way home, completely unmoving except for the way his head will suddenly kick to the side every so often.

He doesn't even flinch when Josh parks the car and gets out to open the door, doesn't even blink when Josh picks him up, carries him through the main door and into the lift. 

"Almost there," Josh keeps telling him, "We're almost there. You did so well tonight, darling, and I'm so sorry I went and left you there all by yourself. I know how much you hate those things and I swear, I'll never do that again."

In the harsh light of the elevator, Oli's lengthy eyelashes cast delicate shadows against his cheeks. His eyes are cracked slightly open, but he looks exhausted to the bone.

"Almost there," Josh quietly says for the thousandth time that night. "We're almost home."

Finally, the elevator dings to signify they've reached their floor, followed by another one of Oli's head jerks as they step out of the lift.

Josh moves down the hall as fast as he can until he reaches their door. He shifts and raises one knee against the wall so that Oli's legs are supported by his thigh and he can grope around in his back pocket for the apartment key, fumbling with it for a moment before eventually succeeding in unlocking the door - "There we go," he says breathlessly, "C'mon, let's get you straight into bed."

Oli exhales a tiny sigh against his chest, and, ignoring his dirty, sopping wet socks, Josh carries him into the bedroom before gently setting him down in a sitting position on the bed. He then sets about tugging Oli's socks off of his feet, followed by undoing his pants and sliding those down too. The shirt is just plain cotton, so he lets it stay on.

All the while he does this, he softly sings a little tune: _"They didn't have you where I come from,"_ he sings, _"Never knew the best was yet to come. Life began when I saw your face, and I hear your laugh like a serenade."_

 _How long do you wanna be loved?"_ He tosses the discarded clothes on the ground. _"Is forever enough, is forever enough? How long do you wanna be loved?"_

 _Is forever enough?"_ Josh rounds the bed and pulls down the covers, gently pushing Oli down onto his back and then rolling him over onto his left side, just the way he always sleeps. _"Cause I'm never, never giving you up."_

Josh pulls the sheets up and tucks them in a little bit around his body. His head jerks against the pillow, but it's not as bad as before.

"I can see the little machines working in your brain," Josh fondly whispers, running a hand over Oli's hair. "Try to turn them off and go to sleep, love. I'll come to bed in a few minutes."

There it is, hiding in the very corner of Oli's mouth; a smile. The blank look is still there, but it's sleepy and faraway for now.

"I love you," Josh quietly tells him. "And I know you're going to get all weird and angry and embarrassed about this in the morning, but just sleep right now, okay?"

"Just sleep right now, okay?" Oli echoes back at him. He pauses, then looks up and gives a tiny nod. "Yeah." Quieter, he adds, "I love you, too."

Josh smiles. "G'night, darling."

 

+

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. it feels so fucking great to get this off of my chest  
> 2\. im so in love with the idea of tourettes!oli??? like. holy shit.  
> 3\. kudos and comments are basically my entire lifeblood at this point  
> 4\. thank you so much for reading, and happy holidays! :)


End file.
